From The Bar Stool: Want To Have Last Call Drunk Bar Sex With a Fat Gross Chick? Don’t Do This!

I'm no stranger to weird nights drinking at various Grand Rapids establishments and I hear a ton of messed up crap! This is one of those tales. It's another edition of From the Bar Stool.

Ok girls when its last call at bar, sometimes guys will do what is called trolling, and that’s when guys will go up to really gross chicks (or trolls they’re sometimes called) and ask them if they want to go home with them and have intercourse. I mean, after all it is last call, and they’re already drunk, so at that hour some guys figure, oh what the hell, I’ll go hoggin! Sometimes ‘trollin’ is also called ‘hoggin’. Now girls, if you are one of these trolls or hogs don’t feel bad, you girls need loving too. But no matter how fat and gross and ugly you are, what you don’t ever need or deserve is to be punched in the face!

Drinking with a few buds last week, they told me about something they saw in a bar a few weeks ago. They said it was 2:20am and last call at a downtown bar, when a wasted as balls 21 year old drunk douche bag named Jimmy, rolls up to a chick named Shelby, and somehow through his drunken slurs, he managed to speak the words and suggest some drunken last call fat chick hoggin sex.

Well, when 22 year old Shelby politely declined Jimmy got very upset, called her a fat pig, and then freaking clocked her! He punched her in the face, right cross to the jaw and just laid her out on the bar floor! What a freaking ass hole! I don’t care how drunk you are, you never hit chicks man! And just because it’s late at night and you’re wasted and a fat chick turns you down, certainly doesn’t give you the right to hit a chick!

Dude was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and last call fat Shelby was taken to the hospital, checked out and released. Somebody needs to teach that drunken idiot how to respect women.

If you ask a fat chick at bar to go home with you and see says no, just politely smile, say “no problem, thanks anyway” and move on to the next fat chick. Its really not that difficult, drunken, fat, last call Rosie chicks deserve respect too.