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From The Bar Stool: Shut Up In The Movie Theater Or Get Your Throat Slashed!

I’m no stranger to weird nights drinking at various Grand Rapids establishments and I hear a ton of messed up crap! This is one of those tales. It’s another edition of From the Bar Stool. Man I hear a ton of cool stories from people I drink with at the bar. I heard about this one about a week ago, forgot about it until day, so before I forget again, here it is! Want to get stabbed in the neck? Talk loud in the movie theater!

My buddy was telling me about a California chick and her dude, they go to the movies, and she’s one of those chicks that likes to talk back to the movie, “I told you you gonna get killed if you go in there girlfriend!” You know, that kind. Well dude sitting behind this chick asked her nicely if she could please be quite during the movie.

That didn’t really work, so then he asked again politely, but that didn’t work either. Then her cell phone rang, and she picked it up and started talking in a normal voice, which is really freaking loud for a movie theater! So he asked her again to be quite, and at that point her boyfriend, who I guess didn’t like this guy asking his stupid girlfriend to shut up, stood up, turned around and stabbed the guy in the throat with meat thermometer!

Where he got, or why he had a meat thermometer in the movie theater, no one knows. Then after the neck stabbing, and the stupid loud crazy chick and her boyfriend ran out of the movie theater. The other guy that got stabbed, just sat there with blood shooting out of his neck! Everyone started screaming and security called the cops. Looks the guy going be ok, but the cops still have not made any arrests and are still looking for the meat thermometer stabber guy.

That’s why I’d rather rent a movie than go to a movie. Too many people getting stabbed in the neck with meat thermometers these days! Plus at home, you can drink beer and pause for smoke and sex breaks!

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