From the Bar Stool: $emen Parking Lot Attack!
People tell me some pretty interesting things when I’m out drinking at bars. Last week a chick I was drinking with told me about this story. Ready to be sicked out? You guys are familiar with the parking lot booth attendant’s booths right? We have them downtown. You pay to park, and a parking lot attendant takes your money. 23 year old chick named Shelby Winters who works as a parking lot attendant in down town Atlanta, and apparently Shelby is pretty freakin hot. At least one guy thinks so. One creepy guy I should say.
About 3 weeks ago Shelby noticed that three or four times a week, a guy driving a grey Toyota Camry would pull into her parking lot, sit in his car for about 30 minutes, and then pull up to her parking attendant booth window, smile and leave. And then Shelby noticed that while the guy was sitting in his car in her parking lot, his car would be rocking. So one day about two weeks ago Shelby decided to investigate, walked over to the guy’s car and saw him fondling his creepy man self. Shelby immediately called cops, but by the time they got there the guy was gone. I guess it was a parking lot where you had to pay to get in, and you could just pull out and leave whenever you wanted. And no pun intended when I say pull out. Cops said sorry baby, there is nothing we can do, but call us if you see the guy again. Next day, creepy guy shows up again. Shelby called the cops, but by the time they got there, he was gone again. Next day, same creepy guy shows up, Shelby takes his money and lets him into the parking lot, just like the police instructed her to do, and immediately called the police again.
This time, not 2 minutes later, she hears a knock on the window of her booth, looks up from the book she was reading, and sees the guy, pants around his knees, with a full on creepy man erection! And the guy was holding a small pale. A small bucket type thing that a little kid might take to the beach and make sand castles with. All of a sudden he tosses what’s in the bucket all over the window of this chick Shelby’s booth! And ya know what was in the bucket? Memen! And when I say Memen, I mean $emen! He’d been saving up all week! Yuk! Luckily for this chick Shelby the window was closed and she didn’t come into contact with any of it. And just then the cops come rolling in and slap the cuffs on the creepy perverted meman freak! Turns out the guy was a 52 year old dude named Alfred Hodges, with a history of mental problems and a history of doing this memen/$emen bucket thing before! He told the cops he was in love with Shelby the parking lot attendant chick and the whole meman bucket thing was the only way he could express his love for her!
And I guess the guy had also been arrested for doing this exact same thing, with parking lot chicks in Seattle in 1999, and Houston in 2005, St Louis in 2009, and then just a couple of weeks ago with Shelby in Atlanta! How disturbed and disgusted would you be if you were that chick! Cops arrested Alfred and charged him with about 100 creepy sex crimes, and a judge immediately shipped the guy off to the state mental hospital for an evaluation! Now that…is a creepy crappy day at work! At least for that chick anyway……gross.