From The Bar Stool: Are You a Straight Guy Who Secretly Dreams About Packing Another Dudes Fudge?

I'm no stranger to weird nights drinking at various Grand Rapids establishments and I hear a ton of messed up crap! This is one of those tales. It's another edition of From the Bar Stool. Are you a straight guy that secretly loves the man penis? Here is how to tell if you are actually a gay guy, even though you don’t think you are!

The next time you are with your buddies hanging out and killing beers you’re going to want to do this. These guys I was slamming beers with at the bar recently told me about a study they heard that came out of some big University, can’t remember which one though, but whatever. This is how you tell if you, or one of your buddies is secretly in love with the man penis. Hold out your right hand palm up, now take a look at your index finger, and your ring finger.

According to the study these guys said if your index finger and your ring finger are the same length, then you my friend secretly dream about packing another mans fudge! Or, you’re at least more likely to enjoy the brown eye boogie with another man, than someone who's index and ring fingers are different lengths. Apparently this is a real, scientific thing and its called Digit Ratio Theory, and here is the scientific reasoning behind it.

They say a longer ring finger means you got more testosterone as a fetus, and you are more likely to be hyperactive and aggressive, and a longer index finger, means you got more estrogen as a fetus, and are more likely to be sensitive. And for whatever reason, the mix of hormones that creates ring and index fingers of equal length is a biological recipe for gayness! This according to the study the guys were telling me about.

So guys take a look at all your buddies hands, whoever has the same length ring and index fingers may secretly be fantasizing about butt slamming your B hole!