I won't do it.  I refuse to fall for the all the Detroit Lions seductive hype this year.  This football team is always one about hope.  Every time I fall for them they end up breaking my heart.

I liken them to a girl I knew back in kindergarten.  One day in class I was innocently sitting across the table from the most beautiful girl in Mrs Thomas's kindergarten class.  Her name was Jackie Woods.

One morning I was staring over at Jackies beautiful blond locks of hair and recall how well they flowed over the top her shiny bright new Scooby Doo lunch box that happened to be sitting on the table in front of her. She was my Daphne!  I think Jackie somehow must of sensed my creepiness because she quickly darted a look my way while simultaneously kissing the palm of her hand and blowing a kiss in my direction.   I was in love!


It was during this very difficult school year that I learned what it was like to have your dreams and hopes crushed. You see after that "kiss" Jackie would ignore me at school for weeks on end. I would lie awake during nap time  and wonder why? -What did I do? Where did I go wrong?

I tried everything to capture that girls attention offering ridiculous lunch trades like Twinkies for carrots or Hostess cupcakes for gross butter jelly sandwiches but nothing would work.  Then, just when I thought I was over her--I'd spy her happily fluttering down the hallway. She'd spot me and damn-it-all if she didn't blow another kiss my way and reignite my previously extinguished love....curses!

Historically (in Lions terms) Barry Sanders was Jackie Woods for me all over again.  Herman & Mike Moore combo?  Another Jackie Woods relapse.  This year, it's all the injuries that are resurrecting Jackie Woods-like feelings for me.  See for yourself.

The Detroit Lions offensive line is nearly decimated:

Jeff Backus - Torn Chest Muscle (Really?) return unknown (if at all)

Gosder Cherilus - Knee - return unknown

Jason Fox - Foot - return unknown

Top Lions 3 draft choices?   All out with injuries (Mikel LeShoure is already done for the season).

With the offensive line decimated and little or no protection for the very breakable Mathew Stafford well, it's just a matter of time before you'll lay witness to  Stafford being golf carted out a stadium on a stretcher.

No way Lions! You can blow me all the kisses you want, but I'm not falling for you again.  Jackie Woods, you can go to hell and so can the Detroit Lions.  I'm gonna remain a Miami Dolphins fan thank you.

My prediction Lions go 6-10 this year.  What do you think the Lions record will be?