Bristol Palin remembers her first time. Except she doesn't.

In her memoir, "Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far," the eldest daughter of GOP poster girl Sarah Palin writes that she was drunk on wine coolers when she and Levi Johnston did the deed.

Actual excerpts from the tome are few and far between in media reports Monday, although the choicest one is Palin calling Johnston "the gnat ".