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Best Of Recoil Magazine – May 23rd

Each week at WGRD.com we feature the best of Recoil Magazine.  Recoil is a free news satire/local entertainment magazine based in the West Michigan area and published on the 1st of every month.

Half of Recoil’s content – edgy social and political satire – is intended to poke fun at contemporary news conventions and access, and to offer a humorous and provocative reflection of the state of modern society. The second half of Recoil’s 68 pages aims to strengthen the fiber of our local community by providing a comprehensive guide to quality West Michigan entertainment, reporting uncommon local interest stories, and presenting other features and columns pertinent to the culture of our area.


Recoil Magazine
Recoil Magazine
 

St. Louis, Mo. – Mentally disturbed and dangerously violent Charter Communications cable technician Joe Lynch is expected to arrive at his scheduled repair job and murder someone between the hours of 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. today.

 
 

New York, N.Y. – Wall Street markets were down Tuesday in the wake of a surprise announcement from bullshit manufacturers that the flagship American export will soon no longer be packaged into bunches. “What a bunch of bullshit,” said regional bullshitter Rusty Sanchez, echoing the exact grammatical grouping that will soon no longer be available domestically or abroad.

 
Recoil Magazine
Recoil Magazine
 

Culver City, Calif. – In an effort to reinvent itself as a thriving metropolitan center, Culver City, Calif., has sought out ‘80s music ensemble Starship to provide a series of urban development recommendations. Says Mayor Gary Silbiger, “Although Culver is now ninety years old, our population sits at a mere thirty-nine thousand people. We need to build this city, and if anyone knows how to meet that goal, it’s the civic-minded partnership of Grace Slick, Mickey Thomas, Craig Chaquico and Donny Baldwin.”

 
 

Winston-Salem, N.C. – Gabriel Townsend, 25, realized Tuesday during his nightly viewing of Top Gear reruns that the channel he had previously thought was reserved exclusively for airing non-stop episodes of the car-oriented television show is actually BBC America, a cable channel that sometimes shows programs other than Top Gear, Townsend told reporters. “I usually watch Top Gear from the time I get home until the time I go to bed,” said Townsend. “Every time I’ve ever turned on channel one thirty eight, Top Gear has always been on, but this weekend I turned it on and saw that they were airing an episode of Doctor Who. I was flat-out confused until I turned on the guide and noticed that the channel is not the Top Gear channel at all, but is actually called BBC America."

 
Recoil Magazine
Recoil Magazine
 

New Brunswick, N.J. – At Johnson & Johnson Corporation’s annual shareholders meeting Monday night, company officials expressed excitement regarding its ongoing test-marketing of GorgeDerm, a revolutionary new weight-loss patch which developers claim can help patients lose significant amounts of weight by curbing their ability to eat.

Side-effects Include Improved Marital Relations

 

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