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Best Of Recoil Magazine — April 18

Each week at WGRD.com we feature the best of Recoil Magazine.  Recoil is a free news satire/local entertainment magazine based in the West Michigan area and published on the 1st of every month. Half of Recoil’s content – edgy social and political satire – is intended to poke fun at contemporary news conventions and access, and to offer a humorous and provocative reflection of the state of modern society. The second half of Recoil’s 68 pages aims to strengthen the fiber of our local community by providing a comprehensive guide to quality West Michigan entertainment, reporting uncommon local interest stories, and presenting other features and columns pertinent to the culture of our area.


area-man-here-with-that-wife-of-his
 

Hanover, N.J – According to sources, financial analyst Tim Dalton brought that wife of his to the company Halloween party the evening of Oct. 31, where the woman’s crude social skills and drunken antics only served to inflate her infamy among her husband’s coworkers.

 
Man-Interested-In-Buying-House-Only-Because-It-Has-Suicide-Friendly-Garage
 

Milwaukee, Wis. – Realtor James Thompson reported Monday that he believes a potential homebuyer who contacted him about seeing three suburban properties may only be interested in buying a home in order to secure a garage capable of allowing him to kill himself by carbon monoxide poisoning.

 
editorial-Im-just-trying-to-help-by-pointing-out-your-faults
 

Your mother asked me to speak with you today. She told me she’s concerned about you, about your inability to make friends, your reclusiveness, and your overall social anxiety and state of mind.  So although I make as much effort as the next person to avoid interacting with you, I promised Mom I’d call you and try to help you out in the best way I know how: by pointing out to you all of your numerous faults, in hopes you’ll better understand why even most of your own family members avoid you like the plague.

 
conflicted-sith-apprentice
 

Planet Ziost – Sources at the Sith homeworld of Ziost reported that Sith Lord Darth Duzan’s young and talented apprentice, Darth Paul – apparently internally conflicted by his strong emotional reaction to the recent galaxy-wide permeation of goodwill and holiday cheer – succumbed to the eternal allure of the light side of The Force on Christmas Eve, pledging to begin using his control of The Force only for good.

 
nightmare-on-sesame-street-1
 

Hollywood, Calif. – A co-creator of the legendary children’s television programSesame Street has teamed up with Nightmare on Elm Street director Wes Craven to create Nightmare on Sesame Street, a CGI animation feature combining characteristics of both celebrated shows into a modern tool for scaring today’s children into learning more effectively.

 

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