Apparently, the 20th season of The Bachelor is about to start up on TV, and I have yet to see a single episode of this show. I'm pretty sure I've got a grasp on the plot: Rando dude looking to bang as many girls as he can on TV until he finds the woman he wants to "marry". An unknown number of women who want to be on TV join him for whatever romance they can squeeze out of the show, hoping he'll turn out to be a nice guy.

Close?

You can tell I have a dim view of "reality" TV.

This season coming up will feature an absolutely gorgeous woman from Ann Arbor named Lauren Himle, who's looking entirely too far away for love. Look at her, she's stunning:

Lauren Himle Twitter

All I'm saying is that I'm only a couple hours away from her, and I would totally commute to GR for work. And, as you can tell from the photo at the top, I'm totally a catch. Not weird or freaky looking AT ALL!

So Lauren, don't get used by that guy on the show, who will turn out to be a douche. Give me a shot, we would have fun babies that would be weird like me, and beautiful like you. That's all I'm sayin'.

Anyway, if you want to see the woman I'm supposed to marry while she's dating someone else, you can tune in to The Bachelor on whatever channel and day it's on...oh, my people just told me it starts January 4th at 8pm on ABC.

And yes, I'm totally following her on Twitter now.