A Record Store Clerk Recorded All the Weird Stuff Customers Say

As a server for several years, I can tell you, customers in restaurants say some crazy sh--. From stupid questions: "Do you have a bathroom?" (Nope! Sorry! No bathroom here at this fully functioning restaurant in the United States in 2015), to ridiculous complaints: "Your Alfredo sauce is really white. Like, it's too white.", I'm pretty sure I've heard it all.

I imagine some pretty weird and entertaining stuff comes from mouths of those shopping at record stores too.

A former record store clerk kept a journal of all the crazy conversations that took place with customers and the bizarre things they asked.

Dangerous Minds shared the story "How Your Pretentious Local Record Store Asshole Got  That Way", in which the author explains,

“In 2002 I stashed a notebook behind the counter of the shop where I work, something I wish I had had the foresight to think of years earlier. Anytime we got a dopey phone call, boneheaded comment, or generally batshit customer experience we’d log it into the book with the date and time of occurrence.”

 

The story shares over 50 weird and funny conversations with customers, so be sure to check that out.

Here are some of my favorites:

Customer: “Hey man, where’s all y’alls CD’s at? The ones with the music on it.”

Guy mumbles to himself: “Same size as Janet Jackson, right?” 
Clerk: “Huh?” 
Mumbling guy: “All CD’s are the same size, right?”

(phone call) 
Customer: “Is this the record place?” 
Clerk: “Yes.” 
Customer: “Could you tell me how to get a record deal? I do rap.”

One of our employees is eating a bag of chips when a customer comes up and asks “whatcha eatin’? Rootbeer?”

(phone call)
Customer: “There’s this lady that just put out a song. I don’t know what it is.”
(statement ends here with customer expecting an answer)

Teenage girl asks for classic rock gift suggestions for her dad.
Clerk: “How about Alice Cooper?”
Girl: “Oh no, he hates female singers”