The wife dragged me off to the sold-out Lady Gaga Concert at Van Andel last night.  Figured I owed it to her having screwed up Valentines Day and all.  Here are a few of my thoughts on the show just in case you were thinkin' about doing something as stupid as I did.

* Thought I was just going to see some thinly clad chick belt out a few pop hits like "Bad Romance" and "Poker Face" instead, I was dragged down into a queer dungeon.

* I thought the guy who stands near my locker in just his Fruit of the Looms at the YMCA where I work out made me uncomfortable - try a stage full of dudes in crotch hugging speedos flamboyantly parading around.  MY EYES.......MY EYES!

* Although I am a very ugly man, still couldn't help but feel I was raped by many eyes every time I used a urinal.

* I thought the dude in the School girl outfit could've pulled off the look if only his schlong hadn't been haingin' out.

* Thought I was the only straight guy there until I came across a dude wearing a Miami Heat jersey.  I fired off a trick statement "Hey, too bad Lebron stayed in Cleveland" thinkin any real guy would know this is ridiculous.  I only realized after he scurried off rather quickly that this trick question backfired on me and he probably thought I was....OH NOOOOOO!

* I think I need to get to a Five Finger Death Punch concert just to get my man hood reinstated.