Women look towards magazines like Cosmopolitan and Glamour and television shows like Sex and the City to help to explain their relationships with men. Is he cheating on me? Did he fake it? Is he thinking about marrying me? Really, searching for the answers to your relationship problems in these “recourses” more than likely create more problems in a relationship. Check this out…
A Cosmopolitan magazine article reads:
Men who are damaged goods (bad guys) explain away their behavior, so learn how to eliminate stupid details from their excuses and hear what they're really saying…
He says: "Call me on my cell phone. I never use my home phone."
Cosmo’s meaning: "I'm married or involved with someone."
My thoughts: Ok, I don’t even have a home phone, so it’s either call me on my cell or don’t call me at all.
He says: "I've never had a true friend because I'm not that outgoing."
Cosmo’s meaning: "When people get to know me, they run the other way."
My thoughts: “I’m not an attention whore, nor do I care too much about being accepted by the masses.” I think that’s a good thing… I suppose some girls want a Stepford-type dude though…
He says: "I'm gonna hit the rest room again. Three times in an hour is a record for me."
Cosmo’s meaning: He either uses drugs or is making secret calls to lord knows who.
My thoughts: It’s not a date without a Bud Light and a Diet Coke… both may cause you to break the seal.
He says: "No one has ever understood me like you do."
Cosmo’s meaning: "People don't understand me because I'm a psycho."
My thoughts: Oh for God’s sake… HE’S SAYING YOU HAVE A CONNECTION. Women strive for that… and then when it’s right in front of their faces, he’s “creepy” or “psycho.”
He says: "I called eight times during lunch because I want to know where you are. I worry about you."
Cosmo’s meaning: "I think I own you."
My thoughts: He thinks he owns you. Get a life, man.
The magazines are smut. Throw that sh*t away. If you fart in bed, he won’t break up with you. If you haven’t had an orgasm yet, doing an elongated corkscrew backwards twist upside down in the shower probably won’t help you get to it. And honestly, paisley and pastel colors will only look good on you if you’re an obese albino.