8 Reasons Why Men Will Always Rule The Earth–The Most Sexist Article You Will Ever Read
In the July issue of The Atlantic Magazine some broad threw together an article called The End Of Men, which claims that the future landscape of our world is better suited for women. They have a point — the article brings to light the fact that women now officially make up more of the work force for the first time in history. And that for every two men who get a college degree, three women will do the same. But despite the mounting evidence against male dominance, WGRD is prepared to tell that article to get back in the kitchen and make us a sandwich!
In fact, using science, WGRD was able to come up with several areas where men still rule!
Men Can Drink More
Good luck closin' that big sale when your spewin your salad and spritzer all over your potential client's business attire. Men are naturally equipped to be better drinking machines. Women have less of a protective enzyme called alcohol dehydrogenase than men do. The enzyme helps break down alcohol in the stomach and process it throughout the body. This intolerance to alcohol is also a major player in how we get you to sleep with us.
Men Are Better at Math
Studies show that men are better at math. Men score better at mentally manipulating objects and at performing certain quantitative tasks that rely on visual representations. This is how we convince you to work for such tiny salaries. Men are also generally better at science, which is where make-up comes from.
Men Feel Less Guilt
Men feel less guilt than women do. Researchers at the University of the Basque Country state that the feeling of guilt is vastly more present in women than in men. Some would say our blackened souls make us far better suited for the business environment.
Men Are Better Drivers
Scientists from Ruhr University in Bochum, Germany tested women against men over their road skills. The results show that men are significantly better than women across the board. In general women take about 20 seconds longer to park than men parking in the same spot. This careful attention to detail did not make them park any more accurately than their male counterparts. So ladies, take it down a smidgen...or we won't give you a ride to work.
Men Can See Better
A report in the British Journal Of Psychology found that because of our hunter gatherer past, the male brain has evolved differently than the female one. This directly comes into play regarding vision. Men are better at judging things from a longer distance away than women. This is why you need us when the zombies descend!
Men Suppress Food Cravings Better
Gene-Jack Wang of Brookhaven National Laboratory used PET scans to look at brain activity in male and female volunteers to see the different chemical reactions. When in front of the smell or sight of food, the male brain had less activity than the female brain in the regions that affect self-control and food cravings. Ethics don't exist at an office where the boss can be easily bought with cupcakes!
Men Are Better Friends
Joyce Benenson led a group of research studies that confirmed that men often have more friends and keep them longer. Female college students were shown to have a much higher disliking for their roommates than male students. All the various reports showed that men are much more tolerant of their friend's failings than women. This bond iss why more strip clubs are home to business meetings than the craft-fair or whatever.
Male Leaders Make Us Feel Safer Than Women Leaders
While women scored high amongst people in a survey about leadership in categories like honesty, compromise and integrity, people still don't think they can protect us from bad guys. A Pew Research study found that more people believe that men are much more suited for protecting the masses from crime and keeping up national defense Step aside gals, there ain't gonna be any sunflower fields to run through while giggling if they all get blown up by marauders!